You’ve probably heard your friends describe their lovers as “animals” in bed. There might be a reason for that. You see, while we are animals too, our furrier counterparts, much like many male students at NUS, have no self-control.
And for those animals who have the sex drive of Caligula, well, sometimes we have to put a stop to it before they hurt those around them, or even themselves.
Duck Named Dave Has To Have Penis Removed Due To Being Over-amorous
Take Dave, for instance.
Dave is a duck. A duck that likes to f*ck.
According to The Mirror, Dave mated so many times with female ducks that he had to have his penis removed because he injured it after his numerous sexual encounters.
The duck’s owner, Josh Watson, claims the bird was mating with its female companions, Dora, Edith and Freda up to 10 times a day.
Woah. If they gave ducks medals for humping, this guy would certainly get a few.
Consequently, Dave injured himself and got a bad infection.
Treatment and removal
The duck was given antibiotics and the owner was asked to wash the duck’s penis daily, but the little horny bastard kept trying to have sex so the treatment didn’t work.
Unfortunately for the little guy, vets decided that they had to remove Dave’s penis to make him more comfortable, as there were no other options.
They left about one centimetre of his manhood behind.
Dave is ‘upset’
According to Dave’s owner, the duck is not too happy with the change: “I think he feels pretty upset about it.”
Well, yes, I too would be a tad displeased if my penis was removed without my consent.
But Dave’s owner and the vet chose this drastic option because of Dave’s exceptionally high sex drive.
“I think he’s a nymphomaniac. He’s got a high sex drive basically. So I think that’s what caused it”, he said.
“He doesn’t stop throughout the year. Over winter he’s meant to calm down. The ducks stop laying eggs but he doesn’t stop mating. He just carries on.”
“All of us knew that as soon as we saw it there was really only one thing we could do and that was to remove it before it got any worse”, he added.
Dave can still urinate after the procedure, though, as ducks only use their penis for mating.
Dave: Yay?
Will still try to mate
While Dave can no longer breed, the vet is certain that the duck will continue to bump uglies with other ducks.
“He’ll definitely still try to mate. It’s not going to stop him,” she said.
You have to feel for Dave. The poor guy just wanted to get it on like a wanton with his female friends.
What we need is sexual education classes for ducks. Sure, ducks already know about the importance of using condoms to prevent the spread of STDs, but not many know about the effects of over-humping.
We hope that Dave will be the last of his kind to have his male appendage removed due to excessive lovemaking.