Being single can be tough.
Whenever you go outside, it seems like every other human on the planet has a partner. And it’s almost as if couples wait in bushes, waiting to jump out and ambush single people with their PDA and annoyingly gooey smiles.
So, you decide to stay indoors. The internet will be my haven!
But then you start scrolling through social media and realize that there are even more couples online and that they are even more irritating.
Had an anniversary? They’ll post pictures online. Shared a kiss? They’ll post pictures online. Breathed in the same room? Pictures online.
It’s only natural to want to avoid social media if you’re single because you’re constantly reminded of your singlehood.
But what we’re forgetting is that while social media is a place for couples to show off their relationship, it’s also a place for them to vent about arguments and fresh break-ups.
Yes, but I don’t see enough of those, you say.
If only there were some sort of invention that could alert singles every time a couple on social media broke u-
Japanese Inventor Created A Bulb That Lights Up Whenever A Couple Breaks Up On Social Media
Well, isn’t that fortunate?
Japanese inventor Marina Fujiwara has created something for all the single people out there – a bulb.
Single reader: Yay! Now we can.. uh… wait it’s just a bulb?
Oh, it’s not just any bulb. It’s a bulb that lights up whenever a couple breaks up on social media.
「別れました」とツイートされると光るライトを作りました。これでクリスマスを乗り越えようと思っています。https://t.co/V7LMJbq7Lx pic.twitter.com/6klYpcQV2Y
— 藤原 麻里菜 | Marina Fujiwara (@togenkyoo) December 16, 2019
Now, I know what you’re thinking. This sounds like an invention that allows single people to use the misfortune of others to feel better about themselves.
That’s because it is.
Marina, however, says her intention was to bring warmth to those who are single during this holiday season.
Aww, what a thoughtful weirdo.
Uses alerts
But how does it work?
The bulb is hooked up to the internet with alerts that detect any new social media posts about couples breaking up, and this triggers the lightbulb which then lights up.
You can even adjust the colour and brightness of the bulb using an app. If you’re feeling especially lonely and long to see other loving relationships crumble, you could make it as bright as the sun.
Unfortunately, for all you single people out there, the product is currently still in development so it’s not available for purchase yet, according to World of Buzz.
Single reader: Life just keeps punching us in the face.
You know what, being single isn’t that bad. When you sleep you get the blanket all to yourself, and… uh… ok that’s about it.
Single reader: Thanks, I feel so much worse now.
You’re welcome! Remember, just because someone’s in a relationship doesn’t mean it’s a good one. They could be even lonelier or more depressed than you are.
There’s really no rush to find a partner, because as Emma Watson pointed out, it’s 2019 and you can be self-partnered. So, if you don’t have anyone to date, you can always date yourself! Bring yourself as a date to weddings and-
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Single reader: Please stop talking.