The unthinkable has finally happened.
When Singaporeans heard the announcement that all bubble tea shops will close because it’s considered a “less critical consumer service”, the whole country collectively gasped.
Some laid in the fetal position in their beds crying, while others popped glutinous rice balls into their Teh Tarik and convinced themselves that it was their beloved bubble tea.
But we’re forgetting about one group of opportunists in Singapore that always swoop in to save the day in times of crisis: Carousell sellers.
McDonald’s Burgers on Sale
When McDonald’s announced that they were closing all their stores until 4 May, one kind-hearted individual froze his Fillet-O-Fish just so buyers could enjoy the burger after the closure for the reasonable price of $70,000.
Or if you loved McDonald’s because of their curry sauce, well, Carousell had that too.
Even a freaking McGriddles went on sale for $50, just in case you need some maple syrup in your burger.
These were obviously jokes (I think), but the point is that Carousell sellers are always ready for such closures, and you can bet your cousin’s frozen Fillet-O-Fish that if a popular store closes in Singapore, their products will pop up on Carousell hours later.
Carousell Sellers Are Now Selling Bubble Tea; 1 Even Had BBT Buffet for $888
Within a day of the announcement that bubble tea shops will close, Carousell sellers started listing them online.
Some of them are clearly jokes, like the bubble tea listed for $7,777. No one would pay that much for a bubble tea, right?
Reader: *sipping on $7,777 bubble tea* Did you say something?
One seller went above and beyond, however, as it looks like he raided all the bubble tea stores in the country so he could offer buyers a “Bubble Tea Buffet”.
According to the seller, it’s a “free flow bubble tea buffet”, where you can “drink your share till you are happy”.
Now, from what my naked and very sexy eye can see, there are around 70 plus bubble teas in that fridge.
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Add 5 to that and you have the average daily intake of most Singaporeans, so this seems like an offer not many will refuse.
Plus, it only costs $888, which may have seemed a tad expensive before the closure, but now seems like a bargain.
If you want your bubble tea fresh, however, Carousell has other options too.
Pearls On Sale Too
If you can manage to get off your sofa, close your Netflix tab, and make your own milk tea, then Carousell can help you out with the other, more important half of the drink: the bubbles.
This particular seller, for example, is selling 3kg of homemade tapioca pearls for $15.90.
The pearls, according to the seller, can be ready in 5 to 10 minutes.
Another seller had the same idea, selling 1kg of uncooked pearls for $25.
So, if you’re missing bubble tea, you could just learn how to make it at home.
Reader: But that would require me to expend energy
True. I apologise for even asking you to do such a thing.
Circuit Breaker Extended
In case you didn’t know, the circuit breaker period has also been extended till 1 June.
One of the reasons why bubble tea stores were closed is that the authorities wanted to tighten the measures in place, one of which is to close more workplaces and reduce the number of workers in essential services.
That’s why barbers and hair salons will also close, leaving all of us with hairstyles teenagers had in the 80s.
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And even when we end the circuit breaker, we can’t immediately go back to crowded train rides and long, cramped lines at bubble tea stores.
The measures will be lifted one by one, so the authorities can monitor the situation.
In the meantime, stay at home, practise good hygiene, and dream of the day when you’ll get to taste bubble tea again.
Reader: Oh I actually purchased the buffet of 70 bubble teas
Of course you did.
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If you’d like to know more about bubble tea, check out this video we’ve done:
(Also, check out our YouTube channel for more informative and entertaining videos!)