Sandra: Hey Ben, why are you crying, is everything OK?
Ben: *sniffling* No, I- I lost someone in the family.
Sandra: Oh my god, I’m so sorry to hear that. Please extend my deepest condolences to your family.
Ben: Th- thanks, Sandra.
Sandra: Who was it, if I may ask?
Ben: Mr Snuffles *sobs*
Sandra: …
Ben: …
Sandra: Mr Snuffles?
Ben: Yes.
Sandra: You mean your dog died? Oh, quit being so dramatic, Ben, it was just a freaking pet.
Those of you who’ve never had a pet may not be able to sympathise with Ben’s plight, but, as research shows, the pain of losing a dog can hurt just as much as the loss of a loved one, reported the Daily Health Post.
It’s not that surprising if you think about it; our dogs spend most of their time at home, so we often see them more than our own family members who are busy with school or work.
They’re there in the morning when we get up, ready to lick us awake, and they’re there in the nighttime, giving us cuddles till we sleep.
So, when they pass, it’s perfectly normal to feel like a family member has been taken away from us because one has.
According to research published in The Journal of Veterinary Medical Science, owners who lose a pet can experience psychosomatic symptoms. They can also experience symptoms of grief like anxiety, insomnia, and depression.
Why is this the case? Well, there are a few reasons:
Bonding
Contrary to what most people think, the bonds we form with our dogs are similar to the ones we share with people. Our body produces the same hormones when we bond we dogs as we do when we’re with humans, according to a study published in the Official Journal of the Human Behavior and Evolution.
And, because a dog often needs our constant care and attention, it elicits the same caring response a parent gets with their child.
Grieving
When a loved one in our family dies, we have a funeral and a burial ceremony to help us grieve and pay respects to our departed relative.
Grieving for a dead pet isn’t as easy though. This is largely due to perception. Many people, like Sandra above, don’t take the loss of a pet seriously; you’re expected to get over it and move on quickly.
And if you try asking your boss for some time off from work because your dog died, they’d probably laugh till they collapsed.
Love and comfort
This is what dogs are valued for: their unconditional love. Even if you’re doing badly in school or you just got fired from your job, your dog will still lick your face and cuddle with you like it does every day.
Their constant companionship can be compared to a long-term partner’s because they’re always by your side, through the good times and the bad.
Therefore, losing this unconditional love and companionship can be devastating.
Guilt
Not many people may be aware of this, but pet owners who have to put their pets down due to suffering or terminal illness often experience guilt for doing so.
Even though it’s often necessary because of the pain the dog is going through, owners may still feel like they could have done more.
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Carrying feelings of guilt when you’re already grieving can make the process a long, painful one.
It’s Okay to Mourn
The main issue pet owners have when dealing with a pet’s death is that they don’t mourn it properly.
You should acknowledge your feelings and let yourself grieve. If other people around you don’t understand or even belittle your feelings, simply quote Amy Sedaris:
“Sometimes losing a pet is more painful than losing a human because, in the case of the pet, you were not pretending to love it.”
And if that doesn’t work, just show them these scientific studies and say:
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